Corporate shit posting

 Anyone who has been reading my infrequest blog posts will not be surprised by the extreme levels of the contempt and disgust i have for fakers - especially the corprorate fat cats. Two things - fake humility and boasting both are annoying. There is a word for fake humility - which i forget. Examples abound in that useless platform (suitable for narcissists) called LinkedIn - "humbled to be awarded the best nose hair picker in the 2025 cohort; grateful to grease merchant 1, group head, blah, blah". There are enough parodies of these kind of junk posts, on LinkedIn itself.  I am sure LinkedIn managements itself encourages this kind of shit posting - increases content maybe.

The other kind of posts which provoked me to unleash are the ones "As the year 2025 draws to a close, i spent the holidays reflecting on the challenges..." . Translated into simple words, this basically means "whereall did i corporate shat and created a ruckus and tried to inflate my importance to the organisation. Did i emit enough personalised methane to cause a noticeable stink in a corporate room already reeking of arse vapour? would it be enough to keep gulping crores to feed my ever cavernous family who cannot be denied their 50 lakh schools kitty parties and my 20 crores villa?" etc. 

Many a time, i wonder whether these corporate methane emitters really breathe in their own bullshitting. Do they practice their vomit in front of mirror? Do their "craft" their infantile, inane, patently fake and abusrd ode to their own diminishing intellect and increasing greed all the while fawning upon those whom they think will benefit theiir greed? An example - i have personally been in a room full of senior people where the centre head cum centre head told openly "the bus is leaving. cling onto the dorrs windows or any which way you can get onto the bus." This was in the context of a famous healthcare company shutting down research centres all over the world; there was lot of unrest, speculation and discontent amongst the employees, naturally. To me, this was shocking. What i was expecting from the "leadership" was sobering reality - a retrospect of the steps which led to a once famous brand bleeding like a stuck pig; obnoxious Diversity candidates being pushed to levels of incompetence far beyond Peter principle and so on. However, what i got to hear was just the opposite. The so called leader of 30 years of experience whining like a (well the analogies in civilised language fail me here at this point) something. Without any surprise, this limpet could cling on to the job despite wholesale "bloodletting" of many talented scientists and engineers; and maybe some much needed spring cleaning was also done.

Recently, I saw this trasformational leader "reflecting" on the pearls he had discharged earlier in the year - maybe internal corporate bowel movements. Apparently, his gem to humanity was something like "artificial intelligence is not enough; intelligence is the key". For sure, this sack of protoplasm has the intelligence to be "loyal", the kind which Bricktop disparagingly mentioned before gesturing the henchmen to off the toady in the movie Snatch.